Moving, NYC, and life, among other things

So I survived my two day journey back to Louisiana from Massachusetts. Hardly. Kind of. Okay, it wasn't that bad.

Originally, we were supposed to tow my car behind the Penske rental truck so John and I could be in the truck together. This was supposed to be a test. Can we survive 30 hours trapped in a truck cab while driving cross country together? If yes, marriage should be a breeze. Well, when we went to put my Honda Civic on the tow dolly, we encountered a problem. It went something like this.

JOHN: OK, I'm going to drive it up now.
ME: Alright.
*John edges car onto dolly"
ME: STOP STOP STOP THE FRONT END IS HITTING IT! STOP STOP STOP!
(For the record, "it" was a huge screw on the dolly, and it was denting my front end.)

Well, it turned out the ground clearance on my car was too low, so we couldn't use the dolly. Cue panic attack.

I don't like surprises. I hate it when things don't go according to plan. I have very little "go with the flow" when it comes to things like this. I like order. Schedules. Plans. So this, this unexpected change, was the cherry on an anxiety sundae that tipped me over into full on, stress-ball Katy.

Basically, I had a melt down.

We had to bring the dolly back to rental place, and I have to give Penske props. Everyone we spoke to was really helpful and completely pleasant to deal with. They refunded me the cost of the dolly, and we had no problems whatsoever. If you ever need to rent a truck to move or what not, I highly recommend Penske. Good prices, great service.

We left at four AM Friday, the 7th. Things were going smoothly until we hit NYC.

In short, this is what we stared at for two hours:


NO ONE, and I mean no one, should have to sit in the Bronx for that long. I'm totally counting this as #26 completed. It might be fudging a little, but whatever, I experienced the joy that is the NY driver, so I'm considering it done.

We went on to get lost in New Jersey, thanks to the complexity and idiocy that is the NJ Turnpike. This resulted in another break down, but thank God for John, who was the sweetest thing ever, trying to get me to calm down. Seriously, this is why we are together. He balances out my crazy nicely.

The rest of the trip was uneventful, which was nice.

I am now living in my parents house (yuck) in Louisiana. It's the greatest of scenario, but the food is good, the bed is comfy, and frankly, I've seen worse. I still don't have a job, but I'm working as a freelance writer for now to pay the bills, which is actually pretty fun, considering. (SHAMELESS PLUG: If you want to hire me, check out my website www.katharineflockton.com)

Yesterday marked 10 months till the big day. Later this month I am going wedding dress shopping for the first time, and I am really nervous. There will be a post detailing this more later, but for now, what advice do you have for gown shopping?

Carbs make the world a better place. Especially when you spent a Sunday night drinking a lot of alcohol. Hey, I don’t judge you (okay, maybe I do).

This was written yesterday, posted today, so just pretend you are reading this on a Monday, okay?

Last night my uncle (who I live with) took me out in Boston to celebrate finishing my master’s (which technically won’t be finished-finished till December, but whatever) and also my moving out of his house, something I suspect he is both looking forward to and dreading. We started our evening at a restaurant called Rocca, where we were supposed to have dinner, but because apparently the main dining area is closed on Sunday we decided to have a drink there and relocate for dinner.

(I realized I should have been taking pictures, but I am notorious for bringing my camera out with me, and then never taking a single picture. Oh well. As a result, we are going to play the “Let’s Google Image Search things I would have taken a picture of had I remembered to” game.)

So, anyway, we ended up having the best drink I’ve ever had at Rocca. It’s called a Strada 6A, and if you are ever in Boston and find yourself looking for a cool place in the South End to have a drink GO HERE AND ORDER THIS ONE. It was super tasty.


After the tasty drink, we went to Masa for dinner. Masa is like an upscale Mexican restaurant, which at first I was really excited about, but after reading the menu, finding most EVERYTHING in Spanish, so I wasn’t 100% sure what I was ordering, and not seeing a taco or burrito in sight (yes, I know this isn’t authentic Mexican, but it’s what I’m used to), I was a little wary. In an effort to be daring, and knock another thing of my list, I decided to try mahi-mahi, mostly because my mother once said I would like it, and I usually trust my mother.

It should be said I don’t particularly care for fish. I hate the way it smells; I hate the way (most) tastes. Unless it is deep fried, I usually stay away from it. But, I didn’t want to be lame and order the chicken.

Well, my dinner came, I hesitantly took a bite, and to my chagrin, I really liked it. It tasted nothing like fish, and, I really hate this saying because it’s so cliché, but it tasted like chicken.

This was not my dinner, but it kind of looked like it:


I just Google imaged searched mahi mahi, because I realized I’ve never seen one, and now I feel really bad, because it’s actually a really pretty fish! I’m sorry, little mahi mahi! Just in case you have never seen one either:


Anyway, pallet = expanding. I consider this a small personal victory, because when it comes to food, I am really picky. Mostly I just don't like the way a food sounds or looks, or I didn't like one type of a food cooked a certain way (as it was with fish), so I avoid it all together. I've been meaning to work on this. There is something very...young about saying, "I don't like _____, it tastes/feels/looks weird." So, good for me, I guess?

After dinner, we went on a tour of Boston gay clubs, starting at Club Cafe, where it was apparently piano bar night, where I had the following run in:

Attractive gay man carrying 2 drinks: Excuse me.
Me: Sure.
Attractive gay man, who has now bumped into me in the chest area: Oh! Sorry about that. Nice boobs though.
Me: Thanks.

This is why I love gay bars. Because you can have instances like this one and it's not all awkward and creepy, and it's funny and light and self-esteem boosting. Every girl should have a few gay friends for exactly this!

We then went on to Fritz, where I was literally the only female in the bar, and then closed the evening at the Eagle. And now it is the day after, and I am paying for my evening of fun dearly. Apparently I just can't bounce back as quickly as I used to, which is sad and unfortunate.

P.S. I am moving back to Louisiana in 3 days! And I get to see John in 2! This has nothing to do with anything, but I am really excited about it :). We've been doing the long distance relationship thing for a year now, and let's just say I was ready to be done with it a year ago.

My mind is a messy place

I’ve been having really weird dreams lately.

I’m not sure if it’s the stress of finishing grad school, anxiety over moving, or the strange food combinations I’ve been eating to get rid of food prior to the move or what, but every night I have the strangest dreams.

Some are down right terrifying. For instance, a couple weeks ago I dreamt it was a couple months before the wedding, and I had to get braces put on again (for my not IRL people, I had braces for almost five years when I was in middle/junior high/high school. It was not something worth repeating). And for some reason, I couldn’t get Invisalign or those clear braces; no, all dream me could think about was how terrible my wedding pictures were going to be: Me with a massive metal mouth (and rubber bands). I was crying about it in the dream, and I woke up crying about it in real life.

A few nights ago, I had an incredibly realistic dream where I was being stalked. I have no clue who this person was, but it was a really scary, extremely realistic dream. You know that feeling you get right after you watch a scary movie or TV show, when you are getting ready for bed, and even though you know it’s highly unlikely, you can’t help but feel something is watching you? THAT’S THE FEELING I HAD THE ENTIRE DREAM. And it woke me up at three am, too afraid to go back to sleep and find out what dream stalker wanted from dream me.

I’ve also been having a dream, it’s not really “recurring” because the situation changes, but one thing is constant: My ex-boyfriend is in it. Let’s call him “Mark.” "Mark" and I dated for a little over a year from the spring semester of my senior year of high school through the spring semester of my freshman year of college. He was a nice enough guy, and I’d love to say we split amicably, but that would be a lie. The truth is I was a real bitch towards the end of the relationship (I, unfortunately, use to practice the “let’s see if I can be mean enough for him to dump me” school of breaking up), and we were never really ever to remain friends after that. Anyway, these dreams are almost like vignettes. Like little snippets of scenes or something. I run into him at the grocery store, the mall, running various errands, what have you, and all we do is talk. About relationships: I'm getting married, and he just started dating someone last year. About grad school: I’m finishing up, he just started law school. About the weather, whatever. Random stuff. Nothing "too" serious.

Now, I feel like it must be noted that I have not seen nor spoken to “Mark” in almost four years (thanks to Facebook for keeping me informed on his livelihood. I’m a world-class creeper, but that’s beside the point). I think I dreamt about him once before, after we broke up but before I met John (“Mark” and I broke up in April 2006; John and I met in November 2006), and it was extremely similar to these dreams.

Whenever I have strange dreams like this, I turn to my trusty dream interpreter www.dreammoods.com. I have no idea how accurate Dream Moods is, but for my intents and purposes, it works. Join me, if you will, as I get some premium web therapy courtesy of the fine people behind Dream Moods.

In the case of my orthodonture, the kind folk at Dream Moods say:

“To dream that you have braces, indicates your brashness and critics of others. You should not be so quick to criticize. You need to stop talking too much and listen to what others have to say.”

Wow, what insight to my inner psyche! I’m a self-proclaimed judger of people. To make matters worse, I don’t really criticize people to his/her face, but rather talk about them behind their back. Perhaps my dreams are telling me to STFU and drop this bad habit before the wedding. I think this probably goes along with some items on my list. Namely being a better person.

In regards to my dream stalker, Dream Moods states:

“To dream that you are being stalked, indicates some difficulty or issue which you are not confronting. These problems are not going to go away just because you are ignoring them. If you are being stalked in real life, then this fear may be carried over into your dream state.”

I’m going to go ahead and say “Duh” on this one. I know exactly what “difficulty” they are talking about here. Sadly, I’m not sure how to confront it. Might be something one of my list items can accomplish. We’ll see.

And finally, my new dream friendship with the ex. Well, Dream Moods, what have you to say about this one:

“To see an old ex-boyfriend from childhood in your dream, refers to a freer, less encumbered relationship. The dream serves to bring you back to a time where the responsibilities of adulthood (or marriage) did not interfere with the spontaneity of romance. You need to recapture the excitement, freedom, and vitality of youth that is lacking in your present relationship. To dream that your ex-boyfriend is giving you advice about your current relationship, suggests that your unconscious is telling you not to repeat the same mistakes that you had made with this ex-boyfriend.”

OK, fair enough. John and I are dealing with very “adult” things right now. Marriage. Moving in together. Finding jobs. Finding a place to settle down. These are all heavy subjects. While I love John with all my heart, it certainly wouldn’t hurt to put aside some of this stuff every now and then and just enjoy our relationship. This can definitely be reflected in the list. In fact, I am hereby decreeing a “No Wedding Wednesday” for John and I. From now until June 11, 2011, Wednesdays will be off limits for wedding planning. No talking about it, no making any plans, no meeting or phone calls. However frozen yogurt and taking walks and watching cheesy movies is totally fair game :).

Anyone else have weird dreams pre-wedding? I can’t be the only one.

Switching over, briefly, I went on a very nice two-mile walk/run this morning in an attempt to start exercising again. I loved the walking part, hated the running part (I’m allergic), and other than a sore left foot (thanks to an old injury), it was really great. John asked for the P-90 (not P-90X, the X-less one) for his birthday so we can get in shape, together, and be totally smoking hot at the wedding. I’m actually really looking forward to it. Has anyone done P-90 before? What’s it like and can you really get “the banging bod” you want in 90 days? Inquiring minds want to know!

Checking in

I know I promised an addendum to my previous post about lessons learned, and I totally intend on delivering, but I'm moving in a week. I'm also finishing up my LAST CLASS EVER.

Needless to say, life is chaotic right now.

I'm also in a sort of lull as it goes for both wedding planning and the list. I'm hoping it will pick back up once I'm back home (I'm sure it will), so posts will pick back up then.

A fear conquered

Short post today, because it's Friday, and I have to write MY LAST PAPER EVER (can't tell you how good that felt to type)!

Remember that post from a few weeks ago, the one where I waxed poetic about being afraid of the dark?

Well, I didn't conquer my fear of the dark, but I did conquer another fear.

Last night, I was home alone. Usually, when I'm by myself, I don't sleep well, if at all. I usually end up staying up until the sun starts to rise, and then I'll doze for a little while. This isn't a healthy habit, especially since I'm marrying a pilot, who will have to be away from home from time to time (duh).

Last night I was home by myself, and in stead of allowing myself to get lost in "what ifs" and freaking myself out, at midnight, I turned the TV off, rolled over, thought "happy thoughts" (as my mother used to tell me to do when I had a bad dream), and went to sleep.

I woke up this morning at 8:30, having slept the entire night (except for a minute when I woke up around 3 am, but that doesn't count since I fell right back to sleep).

I'm not sure if it was tough love, or exhaustion, that drove me to it, but it's reassuring. After the last fiasco trying to conquer a fear (where, if you recall, I didn't sleep. At all), it was nice to feel like I have some control over my precocious, overactive psyche.

Finally, if you have a few minutes and you want to see the cutest wedding cuppie-cake ever, check out The Knotty Bride's entry from yesterday (the entry itself deals with a heavy topic, but the cuppie-cake is to die for).

(belated) 11 months to go!/What I've learned so far

A couple weeks ago marked 11 months to go till the wedding. So far, I've (pretty much) enjoyed the wedding planning process (I'll probably feel differently in a few months). But, as with everything, this is a learning process, and there are a few things I've learned thus far. Part one of which is below. And it's about saving money.

Things I've learned about weddings (and how to save money while planning them) (so far)

1. If you can, have your wedding in the afternoon. Seriously, afternoon weddings cost FAR LESS than evening weddings. My reception location cut 50% of the rental fee (holy shit!) AND took $2 off per person. Let's say you are having 150 people at your wedding. That's $300 still in your pocket, now free to allocate to other things. (Also, we're saving $500 on the rental fee, just for having an afternoon reception.)

2. Never underestimate the power of people you are totally, totally friends with (or really people you kind of know or at one point knew). Now, I feel the need to clarify this, because there are certain people I mean, and there are certain people I really DO NOT mean.

Say you have a high school acquaintance who now owns a bakery/florist shop. Given they have good references/portfolios, you should definitely consider using this contact. Why? Because it's highly likely they will cut you a discount. Exhibit A: We've done business in the past with the photographer we're using (he did my brother's wedding, and he does all photography for my dad's Mardi Gras krewe). As such, I know he does an amazing job, and also, he cut us a 20% discount. On a photography bill of $2,000, that's $400 in the bank.

(If you're not keeping tabs or are bad at math, that's $1,200 saved.)

**Warning: I'm going to go on a bit of a soap box here. It's kind of an unrelated tangent, but something I firmly believe. Now, for instance, say your BFF has a photography/florist/bakery business on the side, and she/he totally wants you to use her. I would very much consider NOT using this friend. For obvious reasons, this could be a set up for disaster. Firstly, this is your wedding, and unless you have a very tight budget, springing for professionals is probably in your best interest. Professionals do these sorts of things for a living, as opposed to your friend, who might want to bake/photograph/arrange flowers professionally one day, but right now has to do it out of their house/apartment/condo.

I'm not saying your friend won't do as good of a job as a professional, but may I suggest to think about what you will do/think/feel if your friend delivers something subpar. To your wedding. It may not wreck your friendship, but you're lying to yourself if you don't think it won't mar it in some way.

If you really want them to contribute in some way, have them take your engagement shots, make a cake/decorate for the rehearsal dinner, etc. This way they get to be a part of your big day, but you don't have to worry as much. Win-win.

**End of tangent**

3. The last money related thing: Don't waste your money on those planners they sell in bookstores. Have you been to the wedding section at a bookstore recently? Half of the inventory is those wedding planners, and they sell for $30-$40 a pop. Ridiculous. Save your money. I bought a binder (pink, one of my colors) from Target for $3.50, and some fun dividers for $2.00. Bam! A wedding organizer/planner for less than $6.

I know what you are all thinking, "But you're missing out on all that info in those organizers!" I hate to break it to you, but alllllll of that info (plus more) is one simple Google search away. Seriously. Save your money. Get a manicure instead.

For those of you have already planned a wedding, what are some of your $$$ saving tips for us brides-to-be looking to keep some cash in the bank?

That's it for part one! Part two will go live sometime later this week, and it'll be all about what I've learned thus far about saving your sanity, equally important to saving money, sometimes more so! Also: A message in a bottle soon to be sent and hobbies to be explored. See you soon!

#23

#23 Eat in a restaurant by myself

For some reason, I always thought this would be really embarrassing. Like, everyone around would think, "Look at her! Does she have no friends? Does no one love her? Why is she eating all by herself?" I guess I worry about this because, sadly, this is was I think when I see people eating by themselves in a restaurant. Also, I am definitely the type to worry about what people think of me. I attribute this mostly to the way I was brought up, but it has also been reinforced by my studies/work in public relations, which is ALL ABOUT knowing, caring and influencing WHAT OTHER PEOPLE think about YOU (excessive use of caps in that sentence? Yea or nay?). Anyway, I was legitimately nervous when I went into the restaurant after class today.

I specifically chose a restaurant that didn't look to crowded, specifically at a time in between meals. I went in around 11:30 or so, after my class let out early.

I approached the hostess stand, where a perky 20 something girl who puts too much effort into her job greeted me, "Hi! How many today?"

"Just me," I told her hesitantly.

Now, at this point, I'm not sure what I was expecting, a scoff, maybe. Perhaps a sneer. Yes, I realize this would have been bad business on her part, and I'm sure a lot of people go into this particular restaurant for lunch alone, but this is the way my mind works. But she just continued smiling, grabbed service for one, and asked if there was anywhere in particular I wanted to sit. (Ya'll, it was pretty much deserted. Literally me and two other tables.) I chose a table by a window, where I could sit close to a wall, so I could see everything around me and outside (I really, really, really enjoy people watching).

OK, so one challenge down, now it was time to face the waiter. As luck would have it, I was waited on by a pretty attractive guy (Yippee, what everyone wants, to be judged by a good looking member of the opposite sex!), who actually turned out to be gay, so, sweet relief, I guess. He asked if I wanted something to drink. I ordered an iced tea. When he came back, I ordered food, and he left. He was very nice, very observant, and he made no attempt to make small talk, which was perfectly OK by me because I hate small talk with a passion.

I ended up taking out the notebook I carry around with me to brainstorm in, write things down, etc. You could call it a "writing notebook" or if you really wanted, a "journal" and spent a blissfully quiet, uninterrupted hour writing.

No one asked why I was alone. No one cared I was alone. It was fantastic. When I was done, I left the waiter a nice tip for A) being a good server and B) leaving me alone.

So, I guess I can cross this one off as a success. I think I might this a regular thing. There is definitely something to be said for it!