An uphill battle

I never thought planning this wedding would go according to plan. Everyone told me it would be stressful, and I've watched enough of Bridezillas to know there has to be something that makes these women insane.

For some, it may be flowers. For others, it's the dress. Maybe the cake, photographer, or caterer.

For me, it's the officiant.

When we first starting planning the wedding, I knew one thing for certain: Where the ceremony would take place. My mom is/was hell bent on having a Catholic mass ceremony, and I knew if we were going to do that, we had to have it at the same church my parents were married in. It was the only place I would even entertain to get married at.

We are not parishioners of this church, but actually getting married there wasn't going to be a problem, as long as we paid twice the amount we would have paid elsewhere, they'd marry us. Great.

"But you'll need to find an officiant."

Okay. How hard can it be?

Oh, how naive I was! I really thought this would be a cinch. But the pastor from my church was going to be in Europe during June 2011. And deacons can't say a mass. That left the other church. But wait, even though it isn't my church and we're paying buttloads of money to use it for one hour, I still had to contact their priests! Okay! I can do that!

Except their priest? Really bad at getting back to people. Like, awful. I mean, for someone who has to talk to people all the time, you'd think he'd be better at interpersonal communication.

After multiple attempts by both myself and the wedding coordinator of the church, the priest FINALLY called me back. Except I was in class at the time and couldn't answer. So he had to leave a message. And when I went to call him back not even 15 minutes later, he was out of the office. So I had to leave a message.

And I never heard back from him. Apparently a few phone messages was enough, because the church let us book, and we paid a deposit. But, a couple months later, the wedding coordinator contacted me to let me know our officiant had left that church. He left us one way of getting in touch with him: A single, solitary email address.

And this brings us back to where we are now. A couple weeks ago, I sent our officiant an email to we could set up a time to meet. Given his track record, I figured I should start early. But when I didn't hear back from him after several attempts over a month period, I started to get nervous. I broke down and emailed the wedding coordinator, who so gracefully informed me she hadn't heard from him either, and I better get to lookin' for a new one.

So now we are officiantless, as we were several months ago. I'm trying not to panic, but I can finally understand why so many brides lose it. When you spend so much time, energy, and money into organizing one day, it's easy to get pretty upset when someone messes with it.

If it were anything else, I think I might react better. You can always get a new dress, flowers can be fixed, and the cake isn't that important. But the officiant? He actually marries you. Pretty important.

So, hey, Archdiocese of New Orleans? I need a new officiant, over here.

Wedding gown shopping, and why I'm losing sleep over it.

NOTE: Thanks to Andrea and Ace for commenting on the previous post! I appreciate the advice!

In a couple of weeks, I get to do one of the things I've looked forward to for most of my life. I'd say it's something most girls look forward: Trying on wedding dresses.

The funny thing is, I'm terrified.

Like most women, I've struggled with my weight for most of my life, and I'm sure the rest of it will likely be the same. I am not obese by any measure, but I am somewhat overweight, something I'm highly uncomfortable with due to the fact it's pointed out to me constantly by certain people. I blame my love of food, tasty, fattening food, usually, for my "tubbiness". I'd probably weigh a whole lot less if I had a little more will power, but I just can't deny myself that extra cookie/cake/brownie/french fry/what have you. What I'm saying is, food and I are BFFs.

I've always been this way, so it's not anything I'm not used to, but for some unexplained reason, I've gained a few pounds in the last few months. I say unexplained because I have been exercising more and watching what I eat more, so I'm truly perplexed. I know it isn't muscle gain, well, maybe some, but I honestly just feel flabbier.

(And if any of you wise cracks even for a moment suggest that I am pregnant, I assure you I am not.)

So, obviously, the last thing you want to do when you are feeling fat is try on clothes. You especially don't want to try on an article of clothing as important as a wedding dress. Add in the fact that I know most dresses run small, and I already wear a size 12 regularly, so I'll probably end up ordering a size 20 or something, and I'm breaking out into a sweat just thinking about it.

I've read all the crap about not concentrating on the number, just think of how you look in the dress, and while I can do this with jeans (I cut the tags out of all my jeans so no one else knows their size), I don't think I'll be able to do it with a wedding dress. Also, 12 is much easier to swallow than 20. I blame the media on this skewed body perception, but doesn't everybody?

Also, I am taking along my mother, who has always been more petite than I, and my skinniest MOH. This probably means nothing to you, but my MOH and I went on a diet together my senior year of HS. We both lost a lot of weight, but I gained it all back in college, and she was able to keep it all off. I have always felt a little upset with myself over this, because I figured, "well, everyone gains weight in college," but clearly not.


I know it's all mental, but my mind is my worst enemy. I'm hoping it will be more pleasant than I expect, as I am sure I'm overreacting, but still. Worrying is, unfortunately, what I do best.