#23

#23 Eat in a restaurant by myself

For some reason, I always thought this would be really embarrassing. Like, everyone around would think, "Look at her! Does she have no friends? Does no one love her? Why is she eating all by herself?" I guess I worry about this because, sadly, this is was I think when I see people eating by themselves in a restaurant. Also, I am definitely the type to worry about what people think of me. I attribute this mostly to the way I was brought up, but it has also been reinforced by my studies/work in public relations, which is ALL ABOUT knowing, caring and influencing WHAT OTHER PEOPLE think about YOU (excessive use of caps in that sentence? Yea or nay?). Anyway, I was legitimately nervous when I went into the restaurant after class today.

I specifically chose a restaurant that didn't look to crowded, specifically at a time in between meals. I went in around 11:30 or so, after my class let out early.

I approached the hostess stand, where a perky 20 something girl who puts too much effort into her job greeted me, "Hi! How many today?"

"Just me," I told her hesitantly.

Now, at this point, I'm not sure what I was expecting, a scoff, maybe. Perhaps a sneer. Yes, I realize this would have been bad business on her part, and I'm sure a lot of people go into this particular restaurant for lunch alone, but this is the way my mind works. But she just continued smiling, grabbed service for one, and asked if there was anywhere in particular I wanted to sit. (Ya'll, it was pretty much deserted. Literally me and two other tables.) I chose a table by a window, where I could sit close to a wall, so I could see everything around me and outside (I really, really, really enjoy people watching).

OK, so one challenge down, now it was time to face the waiter. As luck would have it, I was waited on by a pretty attractive guy (Yippee, what everyone wants, to be judged by a good looking member of the opposite sex!), who actually turned out to be gay, so, sweet relief, I guess. He asked if I wanted something to drink. I ordered an iced tea. When he came back, I ordered food, and he left. He was very nice, very observant, and he made no attempt to make small talk, which was perfectly OK by me because I hate small talk with a passion.

I ended up taking out the notebook I carry around with me to brainstorm in, write things down, etc. You could call it a "writing notebook" or if you really wanted, a "journal" and spent a blissfully quiet, uninterrupted hour writing.

No one asked why I was alone. No one cared I was alone. It was fantastic. When I was done, I left the waiter a nice tip for A) being a good server and B) leaving me alone.

So, I guess I can cross this one off as a success. I think I might this a regular thing. There is definitely something to be said for it!